FROM THE 104TH FLOOR By LEDA RODIS

FROM THE 104TH FLOOR By LEDA RODIS

When the plane hit
the building rocked first
to the right
then
to the left
and outside all the skyscrapers
of New York
seemed to tremble.

The alarm screamed louder
than we did, and I knew
it was time to get away. It’s funny
what you notice
a pen rolling across the floor
my screen saver flicker and go off
a picture of you
and me
at Coney Island

So much to leave behind. And yet so little.

Running down the hall I remembered
my mother
taking me to the top of the Empire
State Building when I was just
a little girl.
telling me that a plane
had crashed there a long
time ago. So I thought that
maybe
that’s what happened. Just
an accident. And accidents
happen every day.

Under the blown-out exit sign
a crowd
is screaming.
crying.
pounding
on the door.
I know
There’s
No.
Way.

Out.

You have to believe I tried. I’m not the one
to give up.

Back at my desk.
I rescue
the rolling pen.
stare
at the blank screen,
and hold
my picture
of you.

I look out at the blue morning.
I expect to see God there.
But what I see is
another
plane.

And I know what it means.
But I don’t know why …

I always thought life was full of choices,
It always has been.
What to wear
Where to eat
Who to love
(And you know who I chose).

Now my choices have been taken away from me.
The men in the planes have narrowed them
down
to
two:

Death by fire. or death by fall.

I see the smoke rising
filling the room
It’s hard to breathe.

I look towards the open window.
What
would falling
feel like?

I remember the roller coaster at Coney Island.

The wind tugging at my hair
How good it felt to scream
The feeling in my stomach.
And how
all
the
way
down

I was with you.